


We Might be Alone

by Miss_Murdered



Series: Handwritten Universe [1]
Category: Gundam Wing
Genre: Light Angst, M/M, Sexual Content, Some Sap
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-17
Updated: 2014-03-17
Packaged: 2018-01-16 01:51:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1327378
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miss_Murdered/pseuds/Miss_Murdered
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Heero is forced into celebrating Christmas reluctantly but can his festive mood be improved when Duo turns up? A bittersweet Christmas one-shot set in the same universe as Handwritten. 1x2</p>
            </blockquote>





	We Might be Alone

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing
> 
> A/N: I know... completely wrong time of year to post a Christmas fic but I am trying to get everything onto this account from my ff.net and this is the first part of the Handwritten little arc (tiny arc as only two fics!) so in order for Handwritten to be posted, this needs to be too.  
> Un-beta'd and inspired by the song We Might be Alone by Like Yesterday

_~ and I won't need to sacrifice everything we grown into_   
_where we might be alone and i hope you understand that_   
_it's not because I don't love you it's only because_   
  
_we have to be alone tonight_

We Might be Alone - Like Yesterday ~

* * *

 

**We Might Be Alone**

The air was cold as Heero stepped outside onto the balcony that overlooked the grounds of the main Winner residence located on L4. The gardens thrived despite the artificial conditions of the colony and the sudden chill in the weather cycle. L4 was long established as the wealthiest of the colony clusters due in part to the prominence of the Winner family and their investments in its construction and maintenance over the years. The cold in the air proved the wealth available on the colony as the first snowflakes were beginning to fall.

They were small at first, the powdery whiteness starting to descend from the vents and ducts that made the colonies weather system. Heero glanced upwards, his expression neutral as he thought that man's technological advancements had now guaranteed white Christmases in space. On earth, people woke up hoping for snow and would see dull grey days as the promised snowfall didn't happen and some of the romanticism of the holiday was lost.

It had been snowing in Sanc when he'd left. The grounds of the Peacecraft home had been covered in a blanket of whiteness and had looked somewhat beautiful even to his cynical eyes. Heero didn't celebrate Christmas – he had no sentimental reason to nor did he care for a holiday season that seemed morally redundant and was about buying pointless gifts and gluttony. He was fully aware of the religious aspect but having no faith in any organised religion and no cultural connection to Christmas, he avoided the whole event.

This year he'd ended up celebrating unintentionally – he'd wanted to spend the brief days of vacation in his apartment writing encryption for a secure communication programme to be used among his staff on Relena's security team. As head of her security team, the responsibility of her safety was on his shoulders and he felt that this year, as he was not required to be present in the Peacecraft home, he would sit and do something useful. He knew the current one was virtually unbreakable but by anyone who had the same level of skills in hacking as himself but he wanted it completely unbreakable and given two days of vacation he could accomplish that. Heero liked his Christmas plans and liked having a plan. In his civilian life, Heero had realised he liked order, discipline, punctuality and routine. Perhaps it was no surprise being raised as an assassin and then as a soldier that he liked control, plans and order and that his unusual childhood had influenced his personality as an adult.

His plans had been derailed by Relena. He tried not to let the scowl cross his face thinking about her. Despite their warm friendship that no one understood – the taciturn soldier with a fierce glare and the Vice Foreign Minister with wisdom beyond her years – Heero couldn't help being annoyed at her role in the whole situation. Each year, Heero had avoided a meal at the Peacecraft home and Relena had seemed to accept this as a quirk of his lack of socialisation. If he was working, he walked through the halls or sat watching the security feeds. If he was allowed vacation, he was at his apartment, alone. Relena was more than aware he hated her husband and the less said of his feelings towards her brother, the better. However, this year Relena was pregnant and was excessively emotional.

Heero was still reeling from finding her crying a few weeks ago and he'd made a feeble attempt to comfort her. He'd decided that having no clue of how to stop her crying by words that he would awkwardly put his arms around her as she sat on the loveseat. This had then ended with her crying in his arms for two hours. He'd got uncomfortable on the seat, his white shirt had ended up stained with black make up and he'd continually patted her on the back as she sobbed and complained about feeling unattractive.

"And Edward… he won't even touch me anymore, never mind having sex! Am I that gross, Heero? Tell me!"

No seemed the correct response so Heero went with it. Teary eyes then looked directly at him.

"Oh, Heero! Why did you have to be gay?"

Again, not entirely sure how to answer and worried about his white shirt suffering more black make-up stains, he looked at her and tried to give her an appropriate answer that sounded stupid even in his own head.

"Because I am."

Relena blinked twice before raising herself off his body and started to giggle. The giggling turned into hysterical laughing and Heero couldn't decide whether he preferred the laughing to crying or not. She stopped and complained about hurting herself from her hysterics. She wiped away the tears from her eyes with the back of her hand.

"I heard you discussing your Christmas plans with Miller. I am going to insist that you spend this year with us."

"I can't."

The answer was abrupt and he didn't know why he'd said it. The display of emotions had baffled him but it was not purely that. He didn't lie – maybe something he'd picked up from Duo after all the years – and he was particularly bad at trying to. Relena would interrogate him and he would lose and end up having to sit close to Zechs and try not to stab him through the eye with a fork.

"I heard your plans… you are not sitting alone writing computer code! You are a human being not a machine – you need food and friendship. I refuse to allow you to be alone on Christmas Day!"

"I won't be. I am visiting Quatre and Trowa."

The lie had fallen from his lips easily. Every year since the wars, he'd received a gold piece of card that invited him to L4 to the main Winner residence. Each year he politely declined. This year he had as soon as the invitation arrived. But Relena did not know that he had declined and he was going to use her lack of information to his advantage. For a brief few days, he felt he had accomplished his mission and would be able to spend the day alone in his apartment. He blamed entirely his lack of social skills as he'd not contemplated the fact that Relena and Quatre talked to each other as their work would occasionally overlap.

And he had been, as Duo would say, busted.

Now he was on L4. The Christmas Eve party was apparently a tradition and was noisy, full of Quatre's various sisters and offspring and a plentiful supply of alcohol. Or at least the Winner sisters who approved of their younger brothers relationship with a certain tall ex-Gundam pilot. He noticed Trowa had a dead look in his eyes as small blonde children used him as a climbing frame. Heero had looked on sympathetically but stuck to the edges of the room, keeping his back against the wall to avoid any threats from behind him and watched the scene with a detached perspective. He had been surprised initially to see Wufei as he felt that the dragon with his lone wolf personality would not indulge in such celebrations. However, it seemed he felt some duty towards his former comrades and accepted the invitation each year much to Heero's surprise. They stood together talking at times but in comfortable silence. It seemed Wufei was quite happy to watch the events in front of him, especially since he'd brought Sally along who was talking to one of Quatre's many sisters and holding a few week old baby - the newest addition to the Winner family. Heero knew that Duo would be amused by this. Wufei had spent years being stubborn and pretending not to be interested in the doctor but as soon as Sally had realised he was not going to make a move, she had dated another Preventer agent. It seemed that got the required action as they had been together for nearly a year. Duo had spent years teasing Wufei about it and he would love the fact that his advice of "just kiss her, man" had finally been followed.

"How is Relena?" Wufei asked.

"Hormonal."

The Chinese former pilot nodded sympathetically and left to join Sally. Heero wondered if he saw a vague look of fear in black eyes as Sally was  _very_ interested in the tiny baby. As he looked around the room, Heero felt something in his chest that he couldn't quite identify. It seemed something akin to sadness but he had no reason to feel that way. He was content with his work, his routines and his civilian life. After all, he still got to use a gun on a regular basis and he was slowly becoming more adept at having a normal life. However, he could pinpoint the reason for his festive melancholy.

Had a part of him expected Duo to be here?

It had been four months this time. Four months since their paths crossed in New York and a night of explosive sex. Heero knew it wasn't purely the sex. Yes, four months seemed a very long time for a healthy twenty four year old man but there was something else. If he wanted just sex, he was sure he could find another potential partner – Relena threw anyone she suspected was gay in his direction and he knew that he was an attractive man. He could go to a bar and pick someone up if he really needed a quick lay. However, he didn't want meaningless fucks and dating was near impossible due to his lack of social skills and difficulty in dealing with people. There was also the fact that he didn't really want to sleep with someone else.

Falling back into bed with Duo was always easy and familiar. He knew which pressure points to get a reaction, he knew where to graze teeth and nip and lick and he also knew Duo could handle the sometimes rough way he dealt with him. Heero would worry about his enhanced strength with another man but Duo could take it and give back as good as he got – hard muscles under pale skin, covered in scars and strong hands holding on, forcing him, challenging him and bruising him as they fucked.

But it wasn't just sex. Duo forced him to act for want of a better word – normal. He got him to smile, he coaxed out conversation, he even could make him laugh but that was rare. Thinking about him among the festivities was not good so Heero left the room in search of somewhere quiet to be alone. That was where he found himself now, on a balcony that jutted out from what could be described as a library, watching the snow fall more steadily.

He wondered if anyone would notice absence as he watched the flakes fall. He was wearing only dark jeans and a button down shirt with different coloured blue stripes but he didn't feel the cold. He never had – his body completely immune to such discomfort. He supposed another "gift" from Doctor J. He stood alone for ten minutes before soft footsteps entered his consciousness and he turned to see Duo Maxwell leaning against the opened French doors, his body utterly casual.

"I thought you didn't do Christmas, Heero."

"I thought you didn't."

"I can only ignore so many of Cutie-Q's invites before he sends an army of blonde nephews and nieces after me, ya know." Duo pushed himself off the doorway and walked to the balcony edge. "They started the snow already?"

"Yeah."

It was small talk but Heero took the opportunity to look at Duo as he stood beside him. He was wearing smart black suit trousers with a white shirt that the sleeves had been rolled up to his elbows. A black skinny tie was around his neck but had already been loosened and two buttons were undone so that the cross that he wore around his neck was visible. Heero glanced down long legs to see the customary black Converse, always battered and stained, and returned his gaze to Duo's face.

"You look good."

"You mean I usually look like shit?"

Heero frowned and was about to say something when Duo laughed.

"Yeah, I thought I kinda should be a little less casual in Winner Mansion. Look no holes or engine oil stains!"

A small smile flashed across Heero's face and he shook his head in response. He'd learnt only about half of what Duo said actually required a response and he'd also learnt when he should. Usually when the words "are you listening to me?" came into the conversation was his cue that he should actually say something. For a second, Duo was just stood next to him and then he hopped onto the corner of the balcony and stretched out one leg while the other was bent and his arms were wrapped around it.

Heero couldn't help glaring at him. They were only on the second floor but then there was nothing but air behind Duo. He calculated the injuries that could be sustained from falling off. He was pretty sure that Duo wouldn't die unless by some stroke of disastrous luck, he landed directly on his head but a few broken bones and some bruising was a possibility. He was an idiot. This had been established a long time ago.

"You're thinking 'Ro."

"I'm calculating your injuries if you fall off."

Duo chuckled. "I'm so not falling off. I have balance, Heero. And you know, calculating my potential injuries is one of those things that falls into the not normal category."

He nodded in response and glanced away from Duo's stupidly precarious position and blue eyes. On looking more closely at him, Heero noted that his skin was not quite as pale as it usually was – a hint of a tan had developed.

"Where have you been?"

"Huh?" Duo had seemingly lost himself as he watched the snowflakes fall at a more steady pace. His lack of attention span was legendary. It was perhaps one of the reasons he didn't stay in one place long enough.

"Where-"

"Oh, right," he said, blue eyes returning to look at Heero. "Yeah, been in Zambia digging wells, helping build stuff, you know, charity work. Was kinda fun. Still amazes me that there are places like that still...places with kids who don't get enough to eat and stuff. I'm here to ask Quat to give some money. I brought pictures of how cute the kids look and shit. Reckon I'll get him to write a cheque, in like, ten seconds."

"Probably," Heero responded, a small smile on his lips. Quatre's generosity for charity was just as legendary as Duo's lack of attention span – it was figured it was down to the long standing feelings of guilt of his privileged upbringing and then his actions during the war but he was a pushover when it came to giving away money.

"I guess I just wanted to do something totally not selfish for once. I've kinda been bumming around doing what I want for so long I thought it was time to give something back."

Heero looked at Duo's eyes which were far off and distant, snow had started to settle around them and some was already in his hair, speckling the chestnut brown with white. He would guess Duo was cold as he had always been sensitive to temperature and temperature change. After all, Duo had been raised on a climate controlled colony that only had one setting and weather cycle all year round. Heero didn't comment as Duo hated any implications that he was in some way weak.

"So how's the Princess taking pregnancy?"

"She's hormonal. She cries. She doesn't seem like the same Relena."

A soft laugh escaped Duo's lips. "A mission even the Perfect Soldier is finding difficult, huh?"

"She cried on me for two hours. I had to have a shirt dry cleaned to remove make up stains."

Duo laughed and Heero had known he would get that response and he liked the rare occasions that he could actually make the joker laugh. For year, he'd been aware that Duo hid his actual feelings more than even he did. He suspected that this was why all they continued after their disastrous attempt at a relationship was the sex as Duo had spent a lifetime hiding his feelings. Running and hiding was his way of life and he'd spent the last eight years perfecting it since walking out on the relationship they'd tried to build at sixteen.

They kept the sex secret and both had become far too good at acting like exes in the company of friends and former comrades. If even Quatre didn't suspect then they really were consummate actors to hide any hints of feelings.

"Why you here 'Ro? Thought you liked Christmas alone."

"Socialising was unavoidable this year."

Heero briefly explained his failed attempt at lying which Duo smirked through.

"I thought you didn't celebrate Christmas, either," Heero said.

"Yeah, it's a commercialised piece of shit holiday where big business make money off people too stupid not to realise a friend doesn't need a mass manufactured piece of plastic or something completely useless to them."

"The rant?" Heero asked, a slight mocking glint in his eye.

"Yeah, only half of it. I could go into the bastardizing of a religious holiday but we haven't got all night."

The rant had become infamous – Duo's reasons for refusing to celebrate Christmas or buying anybody gifts outlined in a five minute monologue that impressed even Wufei. Heero still wondered if he'd breathed during it. It had been so long ago that he'd used the rant, when they'd still been pretending that they could be a couple, but Heero had known then and now, that Duo didn't have an entirely "bah humbug" attitude towards Christmas. He could tell by the way his eyes seemed to be captivated by the snow fall and how he was inflicting freezing temperatures on himself to watch it. He just didn't like remembering. It had not taken much digging on Heero's part to understand that Duo was the only survivor of the Maxwell Church Tragedy and he wondered if that had some influence on his view on Christmas.

Christmas, through his usual meticulous research, was an important part of the Christian faith and was an event with rigorous traditions and mythical stories surrounding it. While Duo hadn't followed that faith for many years or indeed at all really, he assumed that as a child in a church run orphanage, he had experienced a version of Christmas that was different to the commercialised holiday seen on soda cans.

"You didn't write," Heero said quietly after a few minutes of silence.

"I didn't really get time, you know, it was just kinda… intense." Cobalt blue eyes met the Prussian blue of Heero's. "I just get caught up in my shit and forget about you for a while."

"I'm forgettable?"

"Shit… no, you're not forgettable." Duo jumped down from his previously precarious position and stepped to Heero so that they were straight in front of one another. "You're pretty unforgettable, babe."

A cold hand had slid to the back of Heero's head, fingers lacing within the strands at the nape of his neck and Duo gave him a lopsided grin.

"It's just… this was just something I was doing for me. To maybe atone for some of the shit and I was just, like, so focused on it now that I was finally doing something good that I let myself get caught up in helping out and playing with the kids and actually sleeping without nightmares. It was all kinda… peaceful."

Heero reached around Duo, pulling him closer and the other man offered no resistance to his intentions.

"You're freezing."

"Hey, it's zero degrees and some of us aren't a cold blooded super soldier, 'Ro."

"Maybe I can warm you up."

"Maybe you can."

He leaned down to catch Duo's lips. Their height difference was minimal as neither of them had dramatically grown since the war – both Trowa and Quatre towered over them but Duo's early childhood lack of nutrition and Heero's genetics had ensured that they remained shorter than their fellow pilots and Duo only had to tilt his lips slightly upwards to meet Heero's.

There was an instant familiarity at kissing Duo, his mouth tasted of peppermint gum like it always had and always did. Heero's eyes slowly shut as Duo opened his mouth, allowing his tongue access and he pulled Duo even closer so that their bodies were flush against one another. It was in that instant, Heero realised that four months was a  _long_ time and his body was already starting to respond from the lightest contact of lips never mind if his hands went from where they rested on Duo's sides, unfortunate fabric in between his fingers, to touch skin. He vaguely wondered how tanned Duo was – had he worked shirtless? Then he realised he was thinking too much when Duo deepened the kiss, holding the back of Heero's head more firmly and a tongue was insistently battling with his own. A cold hand had found its way underneath his shirt, the fingers on the small of his back – he should have jolted from the contact of Duo's very cold fingers but it didn't even feel uncomfortable. There were times J's experimentations had its advantages.

Heero's felt his hands of their own volition starting to un-tuck the white shirt from the form fitting black pants to feel the firm muscles underneath and he felt Duo's breath hitch. He had pulled away, his hands remained where they had been, one nestled in the hair at the back of Heero's hair, the other on his back but his head was now cocked at an angle with a smirk on his face.

"Jesus, you're hands are fucking freezing."

"You should feel your own."

"Maybe we go back inside and we continue this later?"

His body said yes enthusiastically. Just a simple make out session had already reignited dormant feelings – feelings that wanted to pound Duo to the mattress of the fancy bed in the guest room he'd been supplied with but his mind was thinking carefully. It had been four months since New York – and yes, New York had supplied him with enough memories and experiences to satisfy him and provide material for, eh, "solo missions" but he was beginning to feel like Duo was using him. And he knew he was using Duo as sex with him was easy. They'd been doing it since they were fifteen, they had got good at it together and he always had been attracted to him. He got that Heero didn't deal well with verbal communication and they didn't have to have conversations, didn't have to have dates, they just jumped back into bed with each other without hesitation.

"How long are you here?"

Duo shrugged in response and stepped back a little. "Tonight. I'm gonna bail before the morning."

"On Christmas?"

"Shit, yeah on Christmas. You don't even like Christmas so you can't pull that card on me, you know."

Heero looked back towards the falling snow that had begun to settle realised he'd started a confrontation that he didn't even intend to. It was obvious that he could never win an argument with Duo Maxwell. A fight was simplistic, it was a fact that he was stronger but with words… he was at a disadvantage. He glanced back to see Duo in signature confrontational pause, his arms folded across his chest, and looked severely pissed. He wanted to say something harsh – about only being a quick fuck or that he was unbelievably selfish in this whole situation but instead he spoke quietly and walked away.

"Do what you want, Duo. You've been doing that for years."

He glanced back over his shoulder as he left and could assess that he'd actually won the argument as Duo looked blindsided, his hands down by his sides and staring at the ground. It seemed he had no witty comment, no sarcastic quip and no smirk. Instead, he was stood on the balcony alone as snow fell around him. There was something poetic about the image but Heero didn't know why it hurt to see him like that as he entered the warmth of the Winner house. The problem with becoming more in tune with his emotions over the years was that at times, he felt something like this, an odd sensation in his chest that he didn't quite understand and that always seemed to happen when he thought or spent time with Duo.

'He'll come if he wants… like he always does.'

* * *

 

They'd spent the rest of the evening avoiding one another, eyes occasionally meeting across the room as Heero observed Duo talk to the other pilots, help Trowa out by playing with some of the kids and then sit deep in conversation with Quatre. Feeling the tension between them despite the other's in the room, Heero went to bed and attempted to get some sleep and forget about Duo but this was easier said than done. Heero couldn't sleep. He was sure there were plenty other people under this particular roof who were finding it difficult but that would be the children hoping for gifts from Santa rather than an ex-soldier thinking about whether he'd lost a chance of a much needed sexual encounter. He tried regulating his breathing, old techniques, as he had been able to sleep in any situation if it was required during the war. However, tonight it just wasn't working. He damned the idiot with the braid and then himself. Why did he hesitate? Didn't he want Duo? Wasn't the sex good? He moved to turn on a light and then stopped when he heard the door being slowly opened and his breath caught in his throat.

A second later a body slipped through in the darkness, quiet footsteps across the thick carpeting, then silently closed the door behind him. Heero had left the large sash curtains open and a pale light reflecting the snow illuminated the room as Duo walked across the expanse. His tie was loosened further before being discarded on the floor, Prussian blue eyes watched as Duo unbuttoned his shirt as he walked across the room.

"I didn't think you'd come," Heero said softly, moving the covers aside as he felt the weight of a second body on the bed.

Duo slid in under the covers and then straddled Heero's body, the shirt parted, black pants very low on his hips.

"Just been persuading Quat to give some money to charity."

"And?" Heero asked, his heart already beginning to thump hard in his chest.

"Got him to give a few hundred thousand…you know how persuasive I can be, 'Ro."

Heero couldn't help a small gasp falling from his lips as a mouth made contact on his neck, a slow trail of kisses, teeth and tongue that set fire to his veins. He ran his fingers underneath the white shirt, feeling that familiar skin, familiar toned abs and ran them up to Duo's shoulders to ease the clothing off and let it fall to the bedspread. Heero had opted to sleep in a tank top and shorts that seemed similar to his war time clothing and was now regretting that decision as it was in the way and inconvenient. He hadn't wanted to expect Duo to appear considering how they'd left things so sleeping naked had seemed presumptuous but right now there was too much material between their bodies.

A low growl left his throat as Duo continued teasing kisses and his right hand reached up to the base of Duo's braid and pulled his head up with a little more force than was necessary so that lips could meet lips. His other hand pushed down on Duo's lower back, forcing his body to make direct contact and make the other man submit.

Duo ground his hips into Heero's, rubbing his hardness into Heero's and letting him feel how much he wanted this. In one sudden movement, their positions were reversed as Heero pinned down the other man and released his lips for a moment, breaking the kiss.

"Stop being a tease."

"Babe," Duo said, his voice low, husky, erotic. His bedroom voice. "I'm not a tease if you get what you want."

A satisfied smirk was on his face and Heero had the distinct urge to stop that expression as he returned the teasing favour and started to run his tongue over Duo's collarbone as skilled fingers moved down the body to the buttons of the suit pants. The American's back arched off the bed as a rough hand grabbed hold of his hard cock and stroked while teeth bit down on the soft flesh of his shoulder. Satisfied with the reaction, Heero sat back on his heels and looked down at Duo, panting, sweaty, hair framing his face that had escaped his braid during their activities and removed his tank top.

"It's been too long for teasing," Heero said.

"Sure has."

The divested themselves of the rest of their clothes, quickly and hurriedly moving forward to that moment of joining, of not thinking, of primal instinct and need. Heero felt like his breathing had stopped as he stilled his body, buried deep inside Duo, and he leaned over the body to run kisses down the spine in front of him. His hand grabbed for the braid that had fallen to the bed, wrapping it around his hand once and using it to pull back Duo's head to meet his lips clumsily. He released Duo's lips and hair, feeling how breathless his partner was, and he ran his fingers down his sides then rested them at his hips. He gripped hard as he felt the body underneath him quiver, Duo's arms shaking slightly as he held himself in the position, his head bowed towards the bed.

"Jesus…"

"Now?"

"Fuck yeah."

With permission granted, Heero started at first as slowly as he could tolerate using every bit of patience and restraint, as hips rolled forwards, he felt Duo start to push backwards, willing him to do more, give more. It didn't matter that he couldn't see the expression on Duo's face – they'd done this so many times and in so many different ways, that he let his eyes flicker shut, using the primal position to take them both higher in a quick rhythm. Four months was far too long and they both knew they wouldn't last – collapsing in white light and release, spent onto the bed, breathing heavily, Heero's weight on Duo's back. He moved the braid to one side, kissing the sensitive spot on his lover's neck and earning a small chuckle.

"Babe, you're a dead weight."

Heero moved, lying down next to the former Deathscythe pilot who moved out of the wet patch he'd found himself in and onto the solid tanned chest of the Japanese man. Idly, Heero played with a strand of hair that had fallen from the braid and twirled it around his fingers.

"Duo?"

"Hmm?"

"Don't leave it four months."

Duo smirked and leant up to capture his lips. He released them after a quick teasing kiss and then returned to his position on Heero's chest.

"I'll try not to, 'Ro, but no promises."

They had fallen into an easy sleep, bodies used to the presence of the other despite the period of absence. Heero's eyes fluttered opened as he felt movement and realised that Duo was trying his trademark sneak out. He wondered about pretending to be asleep but a part of him didn't want to. The same part of him that found this part was getting harder and harder. Heero shifted and raised himself on one of his elbows watching the other man dress, his naked back visible as he'd retrieved trousers and underwear but not his shirt.

"It's on the bed," Heero said quietly.

"Shit, I didn't mean to wake you."

"You're not that good at stealth."

"Huh, guess not."

It seemed Duo had intended to avoid this part as he grabbed his shirt, doing up the buttons quickly and purposefully avoiding Heero's eye. The snow was still falling outside and Heero wanted to make a comment about the insanity of leaving on Christmas Eve – hell, as he looked at the clock, he could ascertain that it was now Christmas Day, in the middle of a snow fall – a colony controlled snow fall but a snow fall nonetheless. All words faltered on Heero's lips. Stay. He should stay but all he did was watch Duo bend down and retrieve the black tie and put it loosely around his neck, not bothering to secure it.

"I guess I'll see you around, Heero."

Heero nodded in the dim light, a strange feeling in his chest as he realised this part was getting progressively harder. Unbidden emotions swirled around and he contemplated one phrase that may be enough to stop this – to stop months of absence and then brief periods of passion and sexual release. The words were impossible and even as he tried, he couldn't bring himself to say the love word as he still didn't truly understand the concept at all. Instead he said something else.

"Merry Christmas."

Duo blinked, surprised and then a small smile crossed his face. "Merry Christmas to you, too," he said and then slipped out of the room.

'Idiot,' he thought as he flopped back onto the bed, staring at the ceiling. He ran his fingers through his hair and punched the pillows beside him though that did little to ease his frustration. He didn't sleep the rest of the night and at 6.00 am decided to get up and search for the large kitchen to drink some coffee to fortify him for the rest of the day.

Heero wasn't surprised to see Trowa there – they didn't speak, they only nodded as Heero picked up one of the mugs left out on the counter and poured himself a coffee. They both looked out towards the large window as the day cycle was starting to lighten the sky and create a shimmer against the snow. It felt peaceful.

Their companionable silence was broken as Quatre arrived, the blonde dressed and ready for the day's events.

"Duo left. His beds not been slept in."

Heero turned towards him but didn't say anything, hoping that his expression was completely neutral. Trowa looked slightly quizzical at his partner's statement.

"You went into his room?" Trowa asked.

Quatre recognised the moment of unfounded jealousy as poured himself a coffee. It was well known that the two more talkative pilots had been very close – though not that close. "No! The door was left open and the room was left as it had been."

"Maybe Maxwell is under the impression he can be like Santa Claus and just visit on Christmas Eve."

The three men glanced over as Wufei's arrival, his hair surprisingly down from the severe ponytail and still wet from a shower.

"He doesn't leave presents though," Trowa said to which Quatre snorted, the coffee he had been drinking nearly flying from his nose.

"No but he left an envelope addressed to Heero."

Quatre produced a small envelope from his chino pocket and handed it over. It was unmistakably Duo's scratchy writing with his name in untidy capital letters – a looping line underneath it. The other former pilots seemed to be studying Heero's expression and he realised they were all looking at him. He decided shrugging and grunting seemed the best option and was glad that before anyone could enquire about why Duo would leave something for him that the sound of running children could be heard.

"Damn, I thought getting up this early might give us some peace before the mayhem commences," Quatre said, ruefully.

"Never happens," Trowa said, a certain weariness to his voice.

The distraction of numerous blonde Winner nephews and nieces gave Heero his opportunity to depart back to his own room. He sat on the bed that still smelt of sex and Duo and opened the envelope. Inside was a photograph.

It showed Duo playing soccer with children in brightly coloured t-shirts, a look of concentration on his face as the ball was at his feet. His feet were bare and he wore black shorts and a white and black striped soccer jersey. The braid was flying behind him and the kids seemed to be running to catch him up, smiles on their faces. He turned over the picture to see more barely readable writing.

_Heero_

_You said I didn't write so this is me and the kids._

_I'll see you around._

_Duo_

_PS. Promise – not four months next time, k?_

Heero could only shake his head, run a finger through his hair and return the photograph to the envelope. With a sigh, he found his small leather bound notebook that he kept in his duffle and wrote back to Duo.


End file.
